Someone once challenged me to say, “I am grateful for everything that has occurred over the course of my life until now.”
Whaaaat???
An invitation to that magnitude of gratitude made my head spin.
This life-changing nudge entered my world as I was deep in years of chronic stress. My personal well was empty. I asked myself, What do I have to lose with more gratitude—gratitude that goes beyond the sunrise, beyond a new grandchild, beyond all the good things I already give thanks for?
What I didn’t yet realize was that this wasn’t an exercise in positive thinking or reflection. It was an invitation into a deeper form of self-care—one rooted in health, preservation, and the conscious decision to stop carrying what was quietly harming me.
Following the advice, I launched into trying to say thank you for everything on the timeline of my entire life. I quickly ran into entrenched yet seemingly reasonable excuses and barriers to expressing gratitude. I now refer to these life-accumulating roadblocks to gratitude as the 3 Rs: resentment, regret, and resistance.
Resentment. Sending pain outward toward another person or the universe through complaining or bitter thoughts or words—only to have it return to us like a boomerang, again and again.
Regret. Rehashing what was done or left undone, over and over.
Resistance. Fortified with protective walls, yet alone—closed off, with little coming in for sustenance or nurture.
Suffice it to say, and no surprise, in the world of energy the 3 Rs resonate at a very low level within our cells and our bodies. Some say even lower in Hz—closer to cellular death—than the resonance of cancer in the body.
I quickly determined I did not want resentment, regret, or resistance dragging my body down or sickening me.
At that point, gratitude stopped feeling optional. It became a decision—a form of self-care that was no longer negotiable. I could continue carrying what depleted me, or I could choose health.
Stuff happens. And releasing what occurs is part of the rhythm of life. Letting it move through us—sometimes quickly, sometimes with support—and then choosing not to hold onto it is where health and well-being are found. Not because everything is good, but because life happens. Suffering comes to all.
Ideally, we move around the circle of circumstances, through the cycles of life—not stuck.
It was gratitude that got me there. Being grateful for everything on the timeline of my life led me to freedom.
To say goodbye to years of burden is to harvest what we learned from trials and suffering, and then send the rehashing on its way. Gratitude becomes the replacement—not denial, not bypassing, but integration. The resentment and regret loosen their grip, and what remains are the pearls of wisdom and tender self-compassion that guide us forward.
These are the opportunities—the true takeaways—that renew and fill the places that once harbored what had the potential to sicken us.
Welcome, open heart.
Hello to the obvious glimmers that prompt gratitude and bring daily joy.
And welcome—with gratitude—to the wisdom earned through hard times, now gracing our path and replacing the 3 Rs.
In gratitude, we are refreshed.
We are more whole versions of ourselves.
We are enlivened.
We are nourished.
With gratitude for everything.
Why gratitude? If for no other reason than this: it protects and nurtures health.
That it brings happiness, too, is simply a bonus—and who doesn’t welcome an opportunity for that?
Elaine Morgan, Ed.M., CEP, NBC-HWC, has been a peer-parent for over two decades including being a parent of a dependent neuro diverse adult with serious mental illness. As a professional, she supports the well-being of families through her company, Morgan Guidance Services. She offers a unique Peer + Professional approach, including guiding with an integrative whole person perspective. Elaine and her team offer individualized services including Educational Planning, Therapeutic Consulting, long term planning for dependent adults, Parent Support, Coaching for Health & Wellbeing and more.